June

The slow shifts of summer

6.1.24

I go out in the yard and sit in the center of my dwelling place. The grass back here is still long. I braid it for the last time, as we have finally found reliable landscaping help that will come soon to clear the yard! The time of returning the yard to its own growth, beauty, and death is passing. A new period of time is coming into fruition, like entering a new trimester of pregnancy.

I notice all the seed pods, fluffy, desiccated, and disturbingly rodent-like, littering the yard — they must be the pods from the cottonwood trees that dot this area, leading to the “fluff season” that is now upon us. Everywhere we go, we drive or walk through floating tufts of white fluff for several weeks a year. I don’t think it’s helping my allergies any.

Recently, I participated in an a coaching exercise that delved into “inner team dialog,” and one of the dialogs was between my inner “perfectionist” and “messy” sides. I have always believed I embrace my “messy artist” side, but came to understand that my inner Perfectionist is much louder. What happens when I let Messy out to play?

I swear I had bought twine for this project — in addition to the stash I already had — but now I can’t find anything except a smaller length of thicker jute. I hope it is enough for what I have in mind, and wind it around the tops of the beams, drawing in the air with the string, as if framing out the roof line of a strange new house.

I discover the sides are all different lengths. I have failed to measure the distance between the poles. After contemplating, I leave it that way. My inner Messy is pleased. Who am I to say that the dwelling place of birth, mourning, transition, and change should be straight and even? All evidence points to the contrary.

I also notice that one of the beams is splitting. I bring out my “BIODEGRADABLE” tape, and wrap it up tight, humming to myself. It feels very messy, very fun, and freeing. Perfectionist-me often holds me back, slows me down, and tells me to wait and plan and get everything “right.” Messy-me is like my toddler: wild, grinning, forging full-speed ahead. Smearing my hands in the mud, without a care in the world.

6.4.24

Landscapers came, and mowed the whole yard, even carefully around my project beams. I am so impressed with their work, and also a surprising feeling of sadness and loss.

6.5.24

I’ve been trying to find ways to bridge the gap between parenting and the work I need and want to do on this sculptural project, so I’ve set up a play tent in the backyard for Nova.

6.8.24

We also put together a climbing dome for Nova and the neighborhood kids. It even has a “hammock” in the center! I crawled in and laid down in it, and enjoyed the new perspective and sense of ease. Oh, to be a kid again.

6.10.24

The buckets that form the bases of the support beams started filling with rainwater, which is obviously not ideal since it could attract mosquitos and other creatures. I started filling them with moss from the yard, and shredded cardboard, to remove any standing water. Nova wanted to help and insisted on placing cardboard pieces in the buckets herself. She is an excellent helper, when she wants to be.

6.12.24 - 6.20.24

Our family took a vacation to Charleston, SC to visit Nova’s abuelos and see the beach. Obviously couldn’t work on my project much while I was there, but I started doodling on these little blank dotted note cards that I had bought for Nova to draw on on the plane. They are surprisingly meditative, and reminded me that I want to work these colorful triangle motifs back into the final project — a contrast to all the earthy browns and greens.

6.22.24

The cherry tree is finally fruiting again, three years after the first big harvest! What an incredible bounty, to be able to walk outside and pick fresh sweet cherries off the tree. Nova is beside herself and points and yells “cherries!” every time we go out back.

6.25.24

The moss in the buckets has begun to sprout new life!

I started the “Roots” extending from the beams over the buckets - I’m not sure if they will end up fully covered or just have the suggestion of roots branching out, but either way, I like the look of it so far. It feels right, anchoring the project to the earth in a more clearly physical and metaphysical way. The trouble is the mesh wire I bought at the hardware store is not as flexible as I want it to be, so I’ve paused to order a finer wire mesh made for crafting. The first batch of paper pulp I poured over as a test was only paper and water, but has dried well anyway. I plan to add in some PVA glue (basic Elmer’s or white glue) to the recipe for the future, to increase durability. My research shows that it shouldn’t be bad for the environment in any way and simply degrades into water and gasses (any scientists out there know otherwise? please drop me a line!).

My partner, Chris, has been taking photos of me while I work outside (along with lots of other help and support, both physical and emotional). We’ve had some great conversations recently about artistic and creative collaboration and what kind of collaborative help we both look for and wish for for various projects. While I continue to be grateful for his help, I am still looking for local assistants and collaborators. Reach out if you have time and interest this summer!